Monday, November 8, 2010

Love Relationship DRAFT

     Relationships are an extremly big part of people's lives. Some take it way to far. Others fiund it to be really bothersome. Some love it, some hate it. Relationships are really complicated sometimes, especially love relationships.
     Love relationships are really bad sometimes because people sometimes look for the wrong features in a person. A lot of them fo after looks instead of personality, which isn't the way to look at someone. If someone were to date the person for their looks because she/he looked pretty/handsome, then you'd be skipping over the consideration of who they really are. Who they really are meaning, how they act and what they do. This will never make someone happy, especially if you're looking for a serious relationship. If someone were to get to know the person more before befoore jumping in to date them because they looked good, they may realize how much a mistake it would be go to out with them. If the person you were going for was really amazing, had an awesome persinality, treated you like you were someone important to them, and made you feel special, then that's someone worth going for. If they were also very attractive, that'd be a bonus.
     Though lots of people end up with a nice person they're happy with, a lot of the time they get left for someone "better." People don't know what they have until they lose it. And when they lose that person they really did love and thought they didn't because the one they went for ended up being a jerk or mean, then the two of them end up being uneasy about eachother and omiting being together and ending up feeling sad anyway.

2 comments:

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  2. Hi Nick,
    First of all, I’d just like to start by saying—I think it’s cool that you want to be a writer. (So do I) It’s ironic that you said you can’t stand real books. LOL
    I was also taking college classes at the age of seventeen. I was never a big fan of blogging either. See, we have some things in common.

    There are several spelling errors in your post. You can type up your entry in Microsoft Word and run it through spell check first before you post it—that’s an easy way to eliminate most spelling errors. (A little cheat for you) It’s easy to overlook things like spelling and grammar because it’s in a blog format and we can begin to feel a little laid back. If we want to people to care about what they’re reading and take it seriously, then we should take the time to avoid those mistakes—no matter how small they may seem. So, just always remind yourself to check before you hit submit! :)

    Try to avoid repeating the same word too many times.
    “Relationships are really complicated sometimes, especially love relationships. Love relationships are really bad sometimes because people sometimes look for the wrong features in a person.” The word “sometimes” is over used.
    Try to rewrite that...maybe like this? Relationships are really complicated sometimes, especially love relationships. Romantic relationships can turn out badly at times because people look for the wrong features in a person.
    I always have a thesaurus handy when I write. Trust me; it will come in really handy when you start writing even longer papers.

    “Though lots of people end up with a nice person they're happy with, a lot of the time they get left for someone "better."” Do lots of people really wind up with a nice person they’re happy with? Divorce rates are higher than ever. Are people really happy? If they were, would they leave for someone “better”? Why do you think this happens? Are you saying that people only realize they were happy until they leave for someone else and that other person is worse? Please elaborate your thoughts in your last paragraph and try to relate it more closely to your thesis. Come stronger with your ideas. Convince me!

    What is your thesis? It seems like you want to focus on the important aspects that create a happy relationship, such as communication and friendship.

    Cite some sources that can support what you’re writing about.

    I think it’s fantastic that at such a young age you realize that dating someone gorgeous does not a happy relationship make.

    Keep writing and best of luck to you!

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